Danimal's Adventures

 

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First impressions

Early May, 2006

I have been in Madrid, Spain for a week now and have noticed one or two interesting things.

Firstly. The ladies. DRESSED TO KILL!! Competition is fierce and going out even to the supermarket is an occasion to be taken with utmost seriousness. Woe betide any woman above 50 who does not comply – the pain of heads turned away and noses pointed to the sky is a social death that would put the fear of God into even those with the biggest of shoulder pads.

Then there is the daily grind. It seems there are on average five or six meals a day here, as follows:

  • First breakfast – taken as coffee and bread at home, when you first get up.
  • Second breakfast – taken in the local cafeteria at 10ish, as more coffee but this time with 'churros' (deep fried dough that is used to make doughnuts, squeezed into a long star shaped sausage), shortly after you have arrived at work – although of course you have to leave work to take it.
  • Lunch – this commonly starts at 12ish and finishes at 4ish. It is typically a grand restaurant affair with several courses, accompanied by beer, wine, whisky, brandy and other tipples of choice. As the waiter will usually bring the whole bottle to the table to fill your glass, you can be sure you will need your siesta shortly afterward. Everyone takes lunch so you cannot nip out to do some shopping, pay a bill or in fact do anything at all but .. well .. have lunch.
  • Siesta at 4 followed by a couple of hours work from 6 punctuates Lunch and Afternoon Tea, the latter being taken after work, again in the local cafeteria, but this time with 'tapas' (small yummy dishes of potatoes and garlic mayo, smoked ham, titbits of fish and pork, Spanish omelette, olives etc etc) and 'cañas' (small beers). Afterwards, it is polite to retire home, sleep a bit more, shower and prepare for the main part of the day, which is of course the night.
  • Dinner – this starts at around 9.30pm (the tables in restaurants are not even laid until 9) but it is common to sit down at 11 or 12midnight.
  • After dinner, if you have a particularly demanding day the next day, you might go home but otherwise, you will retire to a bar, a cafeteria, a street corner to talk, talk and talk, and this is where the optional sixth meal of the day might come in, being cake or ice cream, cheese cake or some other tasty bit of naughtiness.
  • Bed seems to be at around 2 or 3 am.

I struggled to figure this all out for a while but then I discovered that:

"ATENCION! ESTACION EN CURVA! AL SALIR, TENGAN CUIDADO PARA NO INTRODUCIR EL PIE ENTRE EL ANDEN Y EL CARRO!"

actually means “MIND THE GAP”, both of which are announced when a subway train is entering a station with a curved platform, with the latter being the version used in London. OF COURSE! The Spanish love to talk and when it takes so many words to say something so simple, you need a lot of time to say all that needs to be said. And that also explains why the Spanish are not fat .. none of them .. obesity barely exists here. Gyms are not popular, but why would you need one when talking requires so much energy, especially at the incredible speed with which the Spanish talk. And anyway, you get all the exercise you need walking between home, the office, the cafeterias, restaurants and bars!

All of this takes place in a haze of cigarette smoke. Madrid has the normal yellow horizon that most large cities have. But this is nothing to do with vehicle exhaust – the cars are all so small that their emissions are hardly noticeable. No, it is the cigarette smoke! The Spanish smoke for their country. I believe there is a ban on smoking in all public places, but local establishments seem to have got around that by placing photocopied scraps of paper in their windows saying “smoking is allowed here”. Go figure. They smoke as they walk, as they shop, as they eat and of course, as they talk. Doubtless, all smoke in the bedroom and, I am quite sure, some even as they sleep!

Hasta luego!